I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
