and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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