I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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