My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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