a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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