I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
