I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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