the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
