doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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