ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
