they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
