The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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