According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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