well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
A bitchslap is in order.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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