i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was like his penis was on wheels.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
