Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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