would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
