you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
