can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
