If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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