if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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