a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i love accidental penises.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
