Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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