Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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