I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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