she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
