So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
