If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We need to get me chipped asap
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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