I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
