They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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