call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
