haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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