Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
