wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
