I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
