I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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