ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
