either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
