How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
