Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
