I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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