We're like a lot better than the average bears
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
