i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
