We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
