we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
