I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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