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you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
