He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
