Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
