she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
